App promises to shut up Satan

devilA phone App is marketing itself with the magical ability of causing the Satan, the Prince of Darkness, and infernal ruler of the world, to stop speaking.

The Shut Up, Devil! App, is based on the concept that whenever the Devil shows up, a good Christian user is unable to remember a pithy bible verse which can be guaranteed to send Satan back to where he lives.  Our last known contact address for Satan was the troubled Northborough Estate in Slough.

While Christians cannot carry a bible with them, they do always have a mobile phone, which makes it apparently appropriate to use to call an invisible friend to deal with an invisible enemy.

It is bible search with a category for just about any issue you face—anxiety, depression, fear, lustful thoughts about your neighbour’s dog etc.

Select a category and you’re presented with related cards. Each card features a relevant scripture and a personalised version designed for you to read aloud like a magic spell to make the devil run away. You can share a card with your friends on your social networks which will make sure that you keep them.

The press release we have says:

“Thousands already use the app and report transformed thinking and great victory in spiritual warfare. I know that you’ll experience the same, and in just a short time you’ll realize that you’re no longer under attack—you are on the attack!”

The app conception stemmed from Charisma House’s upcoming book, Silence Satan by Kyle Winkler, which releases in September. Winkler is founder of Kyle Winkler Ministries, a media and teaching ministry broadcasting on the Christian Television Network. It is available on the iPhone and Android so is truly interdenominational.

Satan was too busy running a Tea party meeting in Texas to respond to our calls.