The dark satanic rumour mill has manufactured a hell of a yarn which claims that Apple wants to get into the automotive industry and make self-driving cars named after legendary nightmares.
Apparently, the numbers people have looked up the numbers and concluded that there is a gap in the market for outrageously priced cars which need to be replaced every year because some ridiculously trivial “update” has been added.
Of course the news has not come from Apple, it is leaving that announcement to its unpaid press officers – or journalists, as they like to call themselves. Steve Jobs wanted an iCar so apparently it will happen.
The Wall Street Journal reports that Apple has hundreds of people working on a top secret project: an electric minivan. Apparently, this job is “massive” and is codenamed Titan – named after the godlike beings who tried to destroy the world.
The project is expected to last years, and it’s entirely possible that Apple will say “sod this for a game of soldiers” lets go back to making expensive toys.
However for the next 20 years you can expect lots of sittings of cars which the Tame Apple Press will try to convince you are the prototype. Gizmodo, for example said
“Recently, a janky-looking Dodge Caravan outfitted with what appears to be self-driving car technology has been spotted around the Bay Area. However, it’s worth noting that that minivan might just be doing work for Apple Maps.”
So in other words, every souped up van a reporter sees for the next 20 years might be Apple’s self-driving van. We are not sure that we can put up with it.