Tag: lizard

Malaysia Air attacked by hacker lizards

lizardIf it was not bad enough that Malaysia Air keeps losing its aircraft, or they’ve shot down after flying though a war zone, it appears the outfit is now being targeted by hackers.

A group calling itself “Official Cyber Caliphate” hacked on Monday the official website of national carrier Malaysia Airlines (MAS), although the airline said its data servers remained intact and passenger bookings were not affected.

The website, www.malaysiaairlines.com, showed a photograph of a lizard in a top hat, monocle and tuxedo, surrounded by the messages ‘404 – Plane Not Found’ and ‘Hacked by Lizard Squad – Official Cyber Caliphate’. A rap song was also played, showing that the Lizard Squad is familiar with musical as well as hacking atrocities.

However MAS insisted its website was not hacked, but that users were redirected to a hacker website. It said the official site would be back up within 22 hours.

“Malaysia Airlines assures customers and clients that its website was not hacked and this temporary glitch does not affect their bookings and that user data remains secured,” it said.

Malaysia Airlines lost two flights last year. Flight MH370 disappeared last March with 239 passengers and crew on board and Flight MH17 was shot down over eastern Ukraine on July 17, killing all 298 passengers and crew.


Russian scientists save spaced out randy lizards

Tlizardhe Russian space agency Roscosmos has managed to gain control over a satellite crewed by randy lizards who are keen to test out sex in zero gravity.

Mission control said that it has manage to gain positive control over the agency’s orbiting Foton-M4 satellite. Launched a week ago, Foton-M4 carries a primarily biological payload made up of geckos, flies, plant seeds, and various micro-organisms which was supposed to test out how lower orders of life bonk when there is no gravity.

The satellite made headlines late last week when just a few days after launch, ground control lost communication with the satellite and could no longer send it commands.

Apparently the satellite’s five-gecko crew, four females and one male, were sent aloft by Russian scientists in order to study the effects of microgravity on sex and reproduction are safe. Scientists are spying on the geckos and then slice up the randy couples when the satellite returns to Earth at the conclusion of its two-month mission.

If they had not fixed Foton-M4 it would remain in its 357-mile orbit for about four months—two months longer than the provisions for its biological payload would last. The Geckos having bonked themselves to exhaustion would have run out of food and begun to eat each other, and not in a good way. The survivors would have been burnt to a crisp on re-entry.

Now that the spacecraft is functioning normally, the lizards can get to it safe in the knowledge that their death will not take place until they are safely in a Russian lab back on the planet.  Now all that can go wrong is a reptile dysfunction.